Once every so often I begin to feel manic. I Get really sad and want to cry then that turns to anger and every little thing that someone does pisses me off. Even some one I subconciously dont like, if they talk to me I want to tell them to go to hell.
I do not know why this happens and I dont like the way that it makes me feel. I really shouldnt have anything to get mad about, I have a wonderful life! My boyfriend is amazing and I know that he would do anything for me. I know that it hurts him when I get like this because not intentionally I might take a little of my frustration out on him. I hope he knows that none of my anger is directed to him.. Infact, if it were not for him I might actually have a break down right this second. I know that he gives me ideas of how calm down but i tottaly ignore them because I am so freaked out. I hope he knows that I love him with all of my heart and that I am sorry for anything mean I say right now!
My health insurance kicks in next month and I know that I need to go to the doctor so he can tell me that i am officially fucked up in the head. Whats new right? I think I need to be on some sort of medication so I do not get like this. What a horrible feeling to have, I need meds to be ok? Damn I am fucked up.
All I can say is that I feel like I am about to have a mental break down! What am I suppsoe to do? I am at work and have another 4 hours to go. Damn this late night shit! Am i suppsoe to go to my boss and be like "Um, excuse me, can I leave before I have a breakdown and loose my damn mind?" I really do not think that would fly to well here. Granted this guy is the best boss that I have ever had, I still do not think that he would be ok with that. Ya know?
Ok so I guess it is time for my ass to stop rambling before I start to cry. Oh and can you believe I typed this whole damn thing with out lookin at the freakin keyboard! I must be stressed!! GOD HELP ME TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REST OF THE DAY~~~
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